"You've Been Looking Thin Lately"

Alrighty!

 My friends still haven't said anything, but my English teacher said to me, "You've been looking thin lately... all good?" And of course, I said that everything was working out great. :)

Now I weigh in at 103.2 (BMI 17.05), which isn't great but isn't bad either. Today I had 10 calories (6 raspberries and a vitamin gummy) because I'm having a mini little picnic tomorrow, and I need to get below 103 pounds by Monday morning. Personally, I'm really disappointed with my weight loss this week.

I've been noticing this pattern in my weight loss; let me break it down.

Week 1: Ate 4,700 cal, lost 2.1 lbs.

Week 2: Ate 9,000 cal, gained .2 lbs.

Week 3: Ate 5,815 cal, stayed.

Week 4: Ate 6,675 cal, lost 2 lbs.

Week 5: Ate 3,255 cal, lost 5 lbs.

...and this week?

So far I've had 1,660, and only saw 1.5 lbs lost. How is it that I can eat 3,250 cal in a week and lost 5 whole pounds, even eat 6,675 in a week and lose 2 lbs, yet I eat only 1,660 and lose almost nothing? 

This is just unfair. 

Miraculously, though, I've lost (roughly) 16 pounds since the end of March (39 days ago), and I'm not quite proud of that either. Sure, it's great that I've lost weight, but I could've lost so much more if only I had more self control. My goal is to be below 95 by fathers day (June 16), which is perfectly reasonable if I even lose just 2 pounds a week. I'm sure that I could reach 90, if I really tried, but god, I'm so scared. I'm so scared of losing control. I don't want to repeat these past few weeks.

On another note, I've been walking for an hour each day lately and I've kinda started jogs! I need proper shoes but jogging is actually really fun when I bring some dogs with me.

Edit: This week, I lost 2.5 (?) pounds, thanks to fasting, laxatives, and Chet Baker :)