GW: 98 lbs
GW: 96 lbs
GW: 95 lbs
GW: 94 lbs
GW: 92 lbs
GW: 90 lbs
GW: 88 lbs
GW: 86 lbs
UGW: 84 lbs
GW: 86 lbs
UGW: 84 lbs
Saturday, May 25, 2019
Milestones
SW: 130 lbs
GW: 120 lbs
GW: 117 lbs
GW: 115 lbs
GW: 111 lbs
GW: 110 lbs
GW: 108 lbs
GW: 105 lbs
GW: 103 lbs
GW: 101 lbs
GW: 100 lbs
GW: 98 lbs
GW: 96 lbs
GW: 95 lbs
GW: 94 lbs
GW: 92 lbs
GW: 98 lbs
GW: 96 lbs
GW: 95 lbs
GW: 94 lbs
GW: 92 lbs
My Day With Ana
I wake up at 5:30. Ugh. It's summer break, but I'm still so used to waking up early that waking early only comes naturally. Yesterday, I had 95 calories, but I drank so much tea that I gained weight- so I took a laxative.
It's 6:45 now, and the laxative still hasn't kicked in. Maybe it'll kick in at 8:00 or 10:00, but for now, I need to go on my morning jog before it's too late. Before leaving, I pee and weigh; it's a morning ritual. I went from 96.2 to 95.4 pounds. Good. I start my morning exercise- 20 squats, 10 push-ups, 20 bicycle crunches, 20 crunches, 10 more push-ups, and I stretch. Then, I put on something more warm and go for my jog, which lasts 10 minutes. I still need to build my endurance.
Each week, I make an eating plan. Today was nothing, so when I get back home, I decide to eat nothing. I hang out for a few more hours, playing games on my computer and phone, and then the laxatives kick in around 11:00. Oh no.
I rush to the bathroom and it hurts. However, I thankfully now weigh 94.6 pounds. Good. Almost 1.5 pounds off from last night. 4 pounds off from last week- I haven't had progress like this since I weighed 115 pounds.
I go back to my room to resume my game, but when I get to my room, I rush back to the bathroom. And I weigh again. 94.4. Good.
Then, I remember that I have a doctor's appointment, and I chug a lot of water and fizzy water, because I want to hide my weight from my dad. The doctors will show my weight to him, and I'll have to hide it, no matter much I'd like to keep my weight down.
I get nervous now, it's 2:30 and my stomach still hasn't settled. I rush to the bathroom, and check. 94.8. Whatever, it's expected from liquids. I'll drink more before leaving, and hope to pee it all out by tonight. I hoped to be at 94.2 tonight, but what can you do?
Before leaving, I throw on some heavy clothes, and weigh. 101 pounds, which should work. I toss something heavy into my pockets, and hope that it'll be enough to hide my weight.
In the clinic, they weigh me at 101.2, and my dad asks my weight from our last visit- nearly a month ago. I tell him 115, and he goes off on food. God, he's such an idiot. I went vegan for the purpose of weight loss instead of ethics, and he thinks I don't know the effects of my diet.
He lectures me on food and alienates me for my choices. And he lectures me, getting all of his facts wrong. He thinks that processed ground beef has more nutrients and vitamins than a dish of tofu, spinach, and tomato! He doesn't realize that the issue isn't what I eat; he doesn't realize that I just go so many days without eating.
I get my blood lab results back; a TIBC deficiency, an indicator of malnutrition. Nothing too bad. I drive us home.
I feel guilty for not exercising more today, but I know that I'll be home alone tonight, which leaves me all the time I need for exercising and walking. I still feel the effects of the laxative. Wow! I only took one, around 18 hours ago (it is now 4:45) and I still feel it. Maybe laxatives get stronger with lower weight?
Tomorrow I've planned an apple and boiled cabbage for the day, roughly 95 calories, but I'm still not so sure on that. If I weigh less than 94.4 tonight, then I'll eat tomorrow. If I don't meet that and instead weigh less than 94.4 by tomorrow morning, then I'll allow myself an apple tomorrow. If I weigh more than 94.4 both tonight and tomorrow morning, then my fast will extend into tomorrow and I'll eat on Sunday.
I left for a walk around 5:50. I just got back; it's 7:00. I'll take a shower and weigh myself. I weighed 94.6, but that can probably still go down before I go to bed. I'm cold and it is difficult to raise my arms; I still haven't done my nightly workout. I need to do that right now- it is 7:45.
Tomorrow, maybe instead of an apple, I'll steam some carrot and spinach, and maybe add some cauliflower. It should actually be lower in calories than an apple, but that is to say if I choose to eat at all.
It's 6:45 now, and the laxative still hasn't kicked in. Maybe it'll kick in at 8:00 or 10:00, but for now, I need to go on my morning jog before it's too late. Before leaving, I pee and weigh; it's a morning ritual. I went from 96.2 to 95.4 pounds. Good. I start my morning exercise- 20 squats, 10 push-ups, 20 bicycle crunches, 20 crunches, 10 more push-ups, and I stretch. Then, I put on something more warm and go for my jog, which lasts 10 minutes. I still need to build my endurance.
Each week, I make an eating plan. Today was nothing, so when I get back home, I decide to eat nothing. I hang out for a few more hours, playing games on my computer and phone, and then the laxatives kick in around 11:00. Oh no.
I rush to the bathroom and it hurts. However, I thankfully now weigh 94.6 pounds. Good. Almost 1.5 pounds off from last night. 4 pounds off from last week- I haven't had progress like this since I weighed 115 pounds.
I go back to my room to resume my game, but when I get to my room, I rush back to the bathroom. And I weigh again. 94.4. Good.
Then, I remember that I have a doctor's appointment, and I chug a lot of water and fizzy water, because I want to hide my weight from my dad. The doctors will show my weight to him, and I'll have to hide it, no matter much I'd like to keep my weight down.
I get nervous now, it's 2:30 and my stomach still hasn't settled. I rush to the bathroom, and check. 94.8. Whatever, it's expected from liquids. I'll drink more before leaving, and hope to pee it all out by tonight. I hoped to be at 94.2 tonight, but what can you do?
Before leaving, I throw on some heavy clothes, and weigh. 101 pounds, which should work. I toss something heavy into my pockets, and hope that it'll be enough to hide my weight.
In the clinic, they weigh me at 101.2, and my dad asks my weight from our last visit- nearly a month ago. I tell him 115, and he goes off on food. God, he's such an idiot. I went vegan for the purpose of weight loss instead of ethics, and he thinks I don't know the effects of my diet.
He lectures me on food and alienates me for my choices. And he lectures me, getting all of his facts wrong. He thinks that processed ground beef has more nutrients and vitamins than a dish of tofu, spinach, and tomato! He doesn't realize that the issue isn't what I eat; he doesn't realize that I just go so many days without eating.
I get my blood lab results back; a TIBC deficiency, an indicator of malnutrition. Nothing too bad. I drive us home.
I feel guilty for not exercising more today, but I know that I'll be home alone tonight, which leaves me all the time I need for exercising and walking. I still feel the effects of the laxative. Wow! I only took one, around 18 hours ago (it is now 4:45) and I still feel it. Maybe laxatives get stronger with lower weight?
Tomorrow I've planned an apple and boiled cabbage for the day, roughly 95 calories, but I'm still not so sure on that. If I weigh less than 94.4 tonight, then I'll eat tomorrow. If I don't meet that and instead weigh less than 94.4 by tomorrow morning, then I'll allow myself an apple tomorrow. If I weigh more than 94.4 both tonight and tomorrow morning, then my fast will extend into tomorrow and I'll eat on Sunday.
I left for a walk around 5:50. I just got back; it's 7:00. I'll take a shower and weigh myself. I weighed 94.6, but that can probably still go down before I go to bed. I'm cold and it is difficult to raise my arms; I still haven't done my nightly workout. I need to do that right now- it is 7:45.
Tomorrow, maybe instead of an apple, I'll steam some carrot and spinach, and maybe add some cauliflower. It should actually be lower in calories than an apple, but that is to say if I choose to eat at all.
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
Weekly Plans (regularly updated)
Monday:
Toast w/ peanut butter powder (95 cal)
Apple (75 cal)
Tuesday:
Toast w/ peanut butter powder (95 cal)
Apple (75 cal)
Wednesday:
Fast.
Thursday:
Apple (65 cal)
Grapes (30 cal)
Friday:
Fast.
Saturday:
35g spinach, 45g carrot, green onion, 10g celery (40 cal)
Sunday:
Fast.
Weekly Total: 475 calories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday:
Fast.
Tuesday:
Fast.
Wednesday:
Apple (65 cal)
Thursday:
20 Grapes (40 cal)
Carrots + cabbage (40 cal)
Friday:
Apple (65 cal)
Saturday:
15 Grapes (30 cal)
Apple (70 cal)
Sunday:
Fast.
Weekly Total: 245 calories.
Toast w/ peanut butter powder (95 cal)
Apple (75 cal)
Tuesday:
Toast w/ peanut butter powder (95 cal)
Apple (75 cal)
Wednesday:
Fast.
Thursday:
Apple (65 cal)
Grapes (30 cal)
Friday:
Fast.
Saturday:
35g spinach, 45g carrot, green onion, 10g celery (40 cal)
Sunday:
Fast.
Weekly Total: 475 calories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday:
Fast.
Tuesday:
Fast.
Wednesday:
Apple (65 cal)
Thursday:
20 Grapes (40 cal)
Carrots + cabbage (40 cal)
Friday:
Apple (65 cal)
Saturday:
15 Grapes (30 cal)
Apple (70 cal)
Sunday:
Fast.
Weekly Total: 245 calories.
Monday, May 20, 2019
The Rules
1.) No potatoes.
2.) No pasta or noodles (with the exception of shirataki noodles and similar foods).
3.) No meat or dairy.
4.) No high calorie grains.
5.) No more than 2 slices of bread per week., unless bread is home made and very low cal.
6.) No more than 200 calories per day.
7.) No more than 600 calories per week.
8.) Do not eat for more than 3 days in a row.
9.) No condiments.
10.) No dense foods- no avocado, no nuts, and avoid lentils and similarly high calorie foods.
11.) Try to keep meals veggie based and easy to digest.
12.) No more than 1 laxative per week.
13.) Take small bites.
14.) ALWAYS ensure that you chew more than 25 times per bite- chew more for larger bites.
15.) When eating around others, stop eating when they do.
16.) No seconds.
17.) No sweets.
18.) No eating before 8:00 AM and no eating after 4:00 PM.
19.) Ensure that you have more than 8 hours of sleep each night.
20.) Attempt to get protein in, and have a protein source at least twice a week.
21.) No deep fried foods, and no cooking with oils.
22.) No fast food.
23.) Only eat it if you know what's in it- eat homemade.
24.) No liquid calories.
2.) No pasta or noodles (with the exception of shirataki noodles and similar foods).
3.) No meat or dairy.
4.) No high calorie grains.
5.) No more than 2 slices of bread per week., unless bread is home made and very low cal.
6.) No more than 200 calories per day.
7.) No more than 600 calories per week.
8.) Do not eat for more than 3 days in a row.
9.) No condiments.
10.) No dense foods- no avocado, no nuts, and avoid lentils and similarly high calorie foods.
11.) Try to keep meals veggie based and easy to digest.
12.) No more than 1 laxative per week.
13.) Take small bites.
14.) ALWAYS ensure that you chew more than 25 times per bite- chew more for larger bites.
15.) When eating around others, stop eating when they do.
16.) No seconds.
17.) No sweets.
18.) No eating before 8:00 AM and no eating after 4:00 PM.
19.) Ensure that you have more than 8 hours of sleep each night.
20.) Attempt to get protein in, and have a protein source at least twice a week.
21.) No deep fried foods, and no cooking with oils.
22.) No fast food.
23.) Only eat it if you know what's in it- eat homemade.
24.) No liquid calories.
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
The Year is Ending???
Well, I'm waiting for points to add up on Cookie Clicker, so I might as well use this time to post.
A lot of my friends are starting to say bye to me as summer begins because I'm moving away... 4 days left to say bye. 4 days until I stop seeing the faces of these people that I hold close to my heart. Hopefully, I might spend a few days with the more beloved of them during the summer, but there are some people that I really can't bear to take myself from.
Tonight, I talked to my dad a bit. I said something along the lines of "huh, today's the 15th. Hmm... in the past month, I've lost, like, 16 pounds." My dad was kinda shocked (I say that he can lose the weight more than me!), but in reality, 16 pounds isn't a lot for someone like me to lose. According to some calculators online, I still have like 10 pounds of fat on my body, and I'm gonna aim to lose it (half of it haha).
But with school ending, my mood is a lot brighter. I've been reading a lot, which helps, too. More gum, more books, more music. Everything that makes me happy- boom. But now, I feel like I'm losing my drive because of this darned cold. I'm less motivated to get up and move, which isn't good. No moving = no burnt calories, which isn't good.
But as I'm tearing up, thinking about all of the people that I'll grow distant to, I feel this unimaginable glee every single time I consider the environment I'll be in once I move.
In this house, I'm an alien to my own family. I'm treated as weird for trying literally anything, and I'm surrounded by these immature and retarded (wo)man-childs that can't take care of themselves and complain when I treat them like the children they are. They aren't interesting, and don't offer anything... anything that I consider valuable, I guess. Not bad people, but not valuable people. Not people that I enjoy being around. My mom? I regret not spending time with her. Last time I saw her, it was only for 2 days around my birthday. I feel like I bothered her a lot, just by being around, so I kinda isolated myself. But I wish I was more selfish at that time. I wish I went back with her and left this behind.
But now I fear that when I go away, nothing will change. What if I'm still just me? what if i still lack value? I want everyone to just... not change their perception, because that's asking for too much. I just want people to enjoy being around me more. I miss the touch of another human being, as creepy and weird as that sounds. I want to hug my friends, and I never want to leave them. I know that I'm being cliche, but I miss the idea of caring for people and I miss having a family. For all I know, I'm going to miss it- my friends are my family, and I can never replace them. No matter how popular and likable I become, there are just some people that can't be replaced.
But now one of my best buds are messaging me. And they won't know that I'm crying, and they won't know how much I love them
none of them will how much i value them, and i don't know if i should change that ?
A lot of my friends are starting to say bye to me as summer begins because I'm moving away... 4 days left to say bye. 4 days until I stop seeing the faces of these people that I hold close to my heart. Hopefully, I might spend a few days with the more beloved of them during the summer, but there are some people that I really can't bear to take myself from.
Tonight, I talked to my dad a bit. I said something along the lines of "huh, today's the 15th. Hmm... in the past month, I've lost, like, 16 pounds." My dad was kinda shocked (I say that he can lose the weight more than me!), but in reality, 16 pounds isn't a lot for someone like me to lose. According to some calculators online, I still have like 10 pounds of fat on my body, and I'm gonna aim to lose it (half of it haha).
But with school ending, my mood is a lot brighter. I've been reading a lot, which helps, too. More gum, more books, more music. Everything that makes me happy- boom. But now, I feel like I'm losing my drive because of this darned cold. I'm less motivated to get up and move, which isn't good. No moving = no burnt calories, which isn't good.
But as I'm tearing up, thinking about all of the people that I'll grow distant to, I feel this unimaginable glee every single time I consider the environment I'll be in once I move.
In this house, I'm an alien to my own family. I'm treated as weird for trying literally anything, and I'm surrounded by these immature and retarded (wo)man-childs that can't take care of themselves and complain when I treat them like the children they are. They aren't interesting, and don't offer anything... anything that I consider valuable, I guess. Not bad people, but not valuable people. Not people that I enjoy being around. My mom? I regret not spending time with her. Last time I saw her, it was only for 2 days around my birthday. I feel like I bothered her a lot, just by being around, so I kinda isolated myself. But I wish I was more selfish at that time. I wish I went back with her and left this behind.
But now I fear that when I go away, nothing will change. What if I'm still just me? what if i still lack value? I want everyone to just... not change their perception, because that's asking for too much. I just want people to enjoy being around me more. I miss the touch of another human being, as creepy and weird as that sounds. I want to hug my friends, and I never want to leave them. I know that I'm being cliche, but I miss the idea of caring for people and I miss having a family. For all I know, I'm going to miss it- my friends are my family, and I can never replace them. No matter how popular and likable I become, there are just some people that can't be replaced.
But now one of my best buds are messaging me. And they won't know that I'm crying, and they won't know how much I love them
none of them will how much i value them, and i don't know if i should change that ?
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